The 2024 presidential election will take place in exactly two weeks and the stakes could not be higher. How did it happen? Donald Trump spend one of his last weekends before November 5th? Did he delve deeper into the policy and finally explain to voters how he wants to make childcare affordable? Did he apologize to the various minority groups he said should have their heads “examined” if they support them? Kamala Harris? Has he made a coherent and convincing case for why he deserves a second term in the White House? Not quite!

Instead, he talked about the size of a famous golfer's penis, posed as a fast-food worker at a closed McDonald's, and claimed that every single goose in Springfield, Ohio, had disappeared.

Yes, that's right: On Saturday, the Republican candidate for President of the United States told rally attendees in Latrobe, Pennsylvania that golf legend Arnold Palmer has a huge cock. “Arnold Palmer was a pure man, and I say that with all due respect to women – and I love women. But this guy, this guy…this is a guy who was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he was showering with the other pros, they came out and said, 'Oh my God, this is incredible.'”

The next day, Trump pretended to be a fast-food worker at a McDonald's, which, to be clear, was closed to the public. There, while serving mock customers, he baselessly claimed that Harris was lying when she said she worked at McDonald's while in college, telling reporters, “Now I've worked 15 minutes longer than Kamala.” When asked why she would act as if she had held such a job, he replied, “Because she's Lyin' Kamala.” Note: In case it wasn't clear, Trump was born with several silver spoons in his mouth; in 2018, The New York Times reported that “at age three, Mr. Trump was earning $200,000 a year in today's dollars from his father's empire” and was “a millionaire by eight.” While being born wealthy doesn't stop a person from caring about the working class, there are a number of reasons to support the idea that Trump actually doesn't give a damn about such people. In fact, while “working” at McDonald's on Sunday, he refused to give a concrete answer to the question of raising the minimum wage.