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Six years ago, a Minnesota community was shocked when police found local worm farmer David Riess dead in his home – and his wife, Lois Riess, missing.

This discovery would spark a manhunt lasting several weeks that would ultimately lead to a horrifying discovery: Lois killed her husband, fled the state, and then murdered another woman to steal her identity.

Now Lois – briefly infamous across the country as the “Murder Grandma” – is speaking out about the murders for the first time in an upcoming documentary by Emmy-nominated filmmaker Erin Lee Carr. Carr's previous works include: Britney vs. Spears And In the heart of gold: In the gymnastics scandal in the USA.

“It was just the perfect storm,” Lois tells the documentary filmmakers I'm Not a Monster: The Lois Riess Murders, which premieres October 15th on HBO.

“It was just years of abuse and years of giving and giving and neglecting my own mental health and my own needs.

“And I don't know, I think the word is 'psychotic break.' I just freaked out.”

A husband and father were found dead

On March 23, 2018, police found 54-year-old David Reiss at his home in Blooming Prairie, Minnesota. Lois was nowhere to be found.

Police discovered that David had been shot multiple times and $11,000 had been stolen from him.

David was described as an avid nature lover, The Daily Beast reported. In 2010, after a stint as bait salesmen, he and Lois had purchased a piece of land with a white farmhouse to start his own business: Prairie Wax Worm Farm.

But according to the documentary, her outward success hid a turbulent relationship, massive financial holes and alleged emotional and physical abuse.

“I was very intimidated by him,” Lois claims in the new film. “I didn’t think I had a way out or could defy him. Because he was a big man and very, very aggressive. A lot of verbal abuse, which in my opinion is worse than physical abuse.”

The documentary details how Lois developed a severe gambling addiction while experiencing a series of personal trials that ultimately led to a suicide attempt and exacerbated problems in her marriage.

Finally, Lois claims, on March 11, 2018, she and David got into an argument at their farmhouse. During the argument, Lois says, David gave her a loaded gun and told her to take her own life and “do it right this time.” ”

When David handed her the gun, she shot him in the heart, she said. She then covered him with a blanket and lay down next to him.

Then she went on the run – and was only arrested on April 19th.

From fast friends to a deadly end

Lois, then 56, fled in her 2005 Cadillac Escalade.

She drove 1,500 miles south to Fort Myers, Florida, police said. Along the way, Lois stopped to gamble at the Diamond Jo Casino in Northwood, Iowa, about 40 miles from her home animal reported, citing surveillance footage.

In Fort Myers she met 59-year-old Pamela Hutchinson. The two quickly became friends, and surveillance footage showed them eating at a local brewery on April 5. Pamela, originally from Bradenton, Florida, lived in a timeshare on Fort Myers Beach.

“Never. I never expected to harm that woman,” says Lois I'm not a monster. “She reached out to me to be my friend. I just wish I could have been in a better state of mind. I could have been her friend.”

Four days later, police found Pamela's body in that timeshare. Just like David's body, police discovered Pamela dead from gunshot wounds and covered under a blanket.

The two women looked similar in age and build, and authorities further alleged that Lois killed Pamela to steal her identity.

To this day, Lois maintains that she does not remember killing Pamela and does not know why she did it – although journalists who covered her case expressed serious doubts about this story.

“It's really a mystery because I don't have all the memories and all the answers to it,” Lois says. “I was shown that I took her life. I still don't know why it happened.

“But I feel absolute remorse and shame. I feel terrible that I took her and David’s lives.”

She begins to cry and continues: “She was just involved in my breakdown and it was terrible.”

“I miss my father”: Lois Riess in court

Lois was arrested ten days later by the US Marshal's Service while eating at a restaurant in South Padre Island, Texas.

In June, a grand jury indicted Lois on charges of murdering Pamela and stealing her car, identification and more than $6,000.

On December 17, 2019, Lois pleaded guilty after originally planning to go to trial. She received a life sentence.

“You know, my mother died in a mental institution. “I didn’t want to die in a mental institution,” Lois claims in the documentary. “And that was my biggest fear if I had to go to court. Because I felt mentally incompetent; I was in the middle of a breakdown. And I felt like that was exactly what was going to happen – I was going to end up just like my mother.”

Pamela's ex-husband James Hutchinson said the outcome was “probably not what I wanted”.

“Damn, it was a cold-blooded murder,” James told the Fort Myers News Press. “I'm trying to digest this. Am I happy, sad? It might put a smile on my face, I don’t know if that’s okay.”

Pamela's best friend, Judy Wilder, said she was thrilled when Lois was convicted – but she would have preferred the woman face the death penalty.

“Oh my God, I'm so happy. This will provide some sort of closure for the family. I'm just glad she didn't say she was crazy,” she told the News Press. “I'm a little disappointed, but you have to trust our system. (I) would have liked to see the death penalty.”

Lois was then extradited to Minnesota to face charges for her husband's murder.

Similar to her previous trial, Lois initially pleaded not guilty, but later changed course and pleaded guilty during a preliminary hearing.

For David's murder, she received another life sentence without the possibility of parole. She will remain in prison in Minnesota for the rest of her life.

In a victim impact statement, Breanna Riess, David and Lois' daughter, said she oscillates between “anger, regret and sadness.”

“March 11, 2018 was the last time I hugged my dad and told him I loved him,” she said, according to Fox 9. “I miss my dad more than words can describe.”

The couple's son, Billy Riess, chose to address his mother directly in his statement, Fox 9 reported.

“You just left. We had no one,” Billy said. “It will be a long time before I talk and ever see you again. There is no excuse for this.”

If you are experiencing or struggling to cope with stress and you or someone you know needs mental health help right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are based in the UK you can speak to Samaritans confidentially on 116 123 (UK and ROI) or by email [email protected]or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch. If you are in another country, you can go there www.befrienders.org to find a hotline near you.