Photo: Patrick Harbron/Disney

I miss Long Island already, but with a new break in the case and the Westies in their sights, our gang attacks the LIE on the way back to town. Until their car breaks down, they have a moment to review what they have learned. “While we wait, we should probably do a recap,” Mabel says, not realizing that’s my job. After discovering that the Westies had deposited the late Dudenoff's checks, their current hypothesis is as follows: Dudenoff had these rent-controlled units and was moving the Westies in; They killed him (even though they needed him alive to keep their apartments), and then killed Sazz when she noticed. Do you see the problem? They have no motive; In fact, they only have one reason why wouldn't commit the murder. An anti-motive, if you will. And yet they continue to bark at this tree.

Their cast mates aren't ready to hand over the reins of this investigation just yet, so they all decide to get together and figure out what their next move will be – but they can't consult at Arconia… because of the murders. So they go to the next best thing: the replica of the Arconia, where they shoot the film. But how do they get the Westies to talk? Eugene's suggestion is to invite her to “Tony Danza's 35th Annual It's Time to Wear White Pants Extravadanza.” planza I'm excited because this is an event I want to see on my screen. However, Eva thinks they should surprise her with a “ding-dong.” Not the hostess tidbit, but a term used to describe when a sexy surprise arrives at the door on soapy television – as Edie Britt says, “Hello, I'm the whore who lives down the street.” Yes instead, they resort to the simpler plan – inviting the Westies to a star-studded game of “Oh Hell.”

As this plan is put into action and Charles gets closer and closer to potentially having to face Sazz's murderer, his emotions begin to boil. Normally he's able to quell serious anger issues by focusing that energy on getting himself back up, but this case tests his restraint – and Eugene is fascinated by it. Eugene feels this will help add dimension to his character and can't wait to see him break out. The show with this trio of actors could have easily been used as a fun, recurring punchline throughout the season, but instead it uses this dynamic in a really interesting way. We get to explore these characters from a whole new perspective as Eugene, Eva, and Zach attempt to study and understand their psyches – and we also get to see, through these characterizations, how our trio confronts their own quirks.

When it's finally time for game night, the Westies all arrive in a good mood, and how can you not be with ham in tow? But remember, as we saw at the end of last week's episode, the Westies know the trio is on their trail. And the trio realizes this when the Westies lock the door, swing a machete, and collect everyone's phones – a tell-tale sign of game night going wrong. But usually the machete comes out first monopoly is heated. The Westies finally want to speak out, but we can't get a murder confession.

Instead, the episode is largely a Westie origin story – with each episode detailing how they first met Milton Dudenoff. The Sauce family served Dudenoff in their restaurant while Rudy and Vince were both his film students. In Rudy's story, he actually acts out the monologue A few good menbut if the show was braver it would have shown the whole thing. And if it was really brave, the monologue would have been Marisa Tomei My cousin Vinny … but unfortunately. These origin stories are a bit of a digression, but it's important to see how this motley crew of Westies, the Dudenettes if you will, came together. It also shows that their relationships with each other and with Dudenoff go beyond just the real estate industry – rather, the real estate deal was just a byproduct of their friendship. He gave them these apartments, a life-changing deal, because he cared about them and the feeling was mutual.

Their story is that Dudenoff broke the law to help them achieve their dreams (living in a really nice apartment on the Upper West Side), he ended up going to Portugal to pursue his own dream, and they haven't heard from him since. Not a very productive interrogation…until the doorbell rings.

That's right: Mabel took Eva Longoria's advice and took a page from it Desperate housewives Playbook to bring in a ringtone. Helga – the pig owner who had been unceremoniously removed from the Westie group photo and whose voice we heard on the ham radio frantically sending warnings to the trio. We were told she was Rudy's crazy ex, but it turns out that was another lie. Instead, she was Dudenoff's locksmith, bonding with him over their shared love for Oh Hell and him Perfect strangers. He also reminded her of her late father and soon she too was a member of the gang.

So imagine how unsettling it was for her when he suddenly disappeared, leaving behind only a message that she received just as the building experienced one of its infamous incinerator-induced power surges. The other Westies began acting strangely after this disappearance, especially when the podcast came out, and soon Helga began to suspect that they might have had something to do with Dudenoff's absence. Nevertheless, the Westies claim that Dudenoff is alive and well in Portugal.

Luckily, Mabel has a shoulder replacement to dispute this claim – leading to the truth finally coming to light. The other Westies also received a message from Dudenoff that evening, inviting them to his “funeral” in the basement, where he informed them that he only had a few months left to live. Because he doesn't want this community he created through illegal housing units to die with him, he comes up with a plan. He took pills to kill himself and asked the Westies to cover up his death by putting his body in the incinerator – so they could keep their apartments as long as they kept him “alive.” Couldn't he have simply left the apartments to them in his will? Since I'm not a real estate expert, I'll just give him the benefit of the doubt and assume this is the easiest way to achieve this goal. However, I have to wonder.

He also instructs her not to tell Helga, who was already grieving the loss of a father figure. But just in case she does catch it or blames the Westies, he records a message to her explaining the conspiracy and clearing their names – which they eventually show to her. I understand the intent to protect her, but the cover-up is always worse than the crime, and allowing Helga to believe that all of her dear friends killed her father figure is far more damaging than simply having to grieve normally . Let this be a cautionary tale – never exclude your friends from your crimes; The friendship might never recover.

The truth, while a different crime in and of itself, clears the name of the Westies when it comes to murder. And since the trio's podcast is about murder and not real estate fraud, they're off the hook. Although Eva Longoria managed to secretly record this powwow using her high-tech facial laser, as Eva Longoria is wont to do, Mabel decides that none of it will be used for the podcast and they promise to keep the Westies' secret .

The Westies proved to be a fun representation of Charles, Mabel and Oliver – another unusual group that became a core family within the Arconia. While our trio came together through the podcast, this group came together through Milton Dudenoff and their shared love of a card game. Since Mabel has experienced this herself with Charles and Oliver and knows how valuable it is, she doesn't want to destroy that special bond – even if it means burying a phenomenal episode of the podcast.

So you're back to square one. We have no reason to believe that the killer is no longer watching her, but for some reason that doesn't seem to be quite as concerning as it was last week. But what are they supposed to do about it when there's no trace in sight? Definitely not going back to Long Island. If only they were granted one of those soapy, insightful ding-dongs when they hit a wall like that, says Mabel. And just as she does, right on cue, someone comes to the door.

Helga is back with more information that she couldn't reveal before – about Sazz, who she contacted via amateur radio. Helga reveals that Sazz would be talking about her protégé, a stuntman in a film called ” Project Ronkonkomawho had “pretty much screwed up” and was harassing her. Sazz also called him dangerous and said he would be the death of her. Helga, you idiot, that was important information much earlier than now! Shouldn't tall women take care of each other? They rush to IMDb to find out who this mysterious new suspect is, and sure enough, it's none other than Glen Stubbins, aka Irishman Paul Rudd. Who would have thought?

But Glen is currently in the hospital after being shot during the film's photoshoot, and it's safe to assume he didn't shoot himself. So what's going on? Even if Glen is responsible for killing Sazz, now we also have someone trying to kill Glen? Murderers kill murderers? This is anarchy.